It's Friday or as I like to call it, HSG day.  Today I get off at 1:30 for my 3:00 appointment at the imaging center.  Babe's gotten the afternoon off for me as well which I'm really relieved about.  I've read that there could be mild to moderate pain associated with the test and that there are reports of women passing out. Babe's pretty busy at work this week so getting him to come to the appointment seemed difficult.  I'm not as nervous about the pain as I am about what this procedure could mean for us.  So although I explained to him the reasons why he should be there, I need him there for support.  I don't know if he would have taken the time off just for that though.  Actually typing that and I feel bad for not being completely honest with him. Hmm.

Anyway, in preparation for today I was ordered to take a pregnancy test and bring it in with me.  So I'm walking around all day with a negative pee stick in my purse.  Last night I joked with babe that "guess what, I'm not pregnant.  Bet you never would have thought".  Sometimes it's nice to have a little humor about the situation but I know I'm just hiding behind it.  I've been praying non-stop for today.  The only other person who knows about the test is my sister and even then I think I'm running out of people who care or know what to say.  Everyone who says they want to support us is either pregnant or trying to get knocked up.  The pregnant ones are in a completely different place than I am and I'm afraid of scaring the ones who are trying to get pregnant.  Then there's my husband.  Babe's going through the same thing as me but for obvious reasons either doesn't feel the same as me or isn't willing to express it.  I don't know, I'm rambling now.  

Here's hoping today goes well.


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