The weekend was long and busier than we expected it to be because we added a new member to our little family. Introducing Roxy, our ten week old puggle baby, or my 30th birthday present from Babe.  She's so sweet and so good and just so, ahhh.  We already love her.


We picked her up Saturday and immediately took her to the vet for a check up.  Then after spending most of the day lying around we were in for a rough first night.  Although I have to give a huge thanks to her mom's family for potty training her because that's been a huge weight lifted.  Especially because by last night, she was well into a good bedtime routine.  

For someone dealing with the roller coaster ride of infertility, as cliche as that sounds, the idea of relaxing like so many well wishers profess is a complete joke.  

Let's for a minute assume that your reproductive biology is directly linked to stress in such a significant way. Everything you must deal with is exactly the opposite of relaxing or stress free.  Doctors, appointments (two totally separate categories), medical staff, insurance groups, medical groups, waiting periods, referrals, approvals, pharmacies, medications, vitamins, charting/temping, ovulation tests, blood tests, pregnancy tests, the two week wait, semen analysis, HSG's, saline sonograms, more medication, ultrasounds, timed intercourse, hormones, work - time off, benefits, etc., unsolicited advice, other peoples pregnancies and babies, aging, support groups or lack thereof, LIFE, and still more medication.  Then if you're lucky and have been diagnosed or are ready for treatment you've got injections, sperm samples, egg retrieval, embryo/sperm/egg adoption, paperwork, artificial insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF), possible surgery, etc., etc., etc.  

And if you're still of the mindset that a trip to Europe will cure it, please don't for a second think that your friend's uncle's cousin's brother and his wife got pregnant the second they stopped all that BECAUSE they stopped all of that. That's truly not the case.  

I've realized before, but am again in the midst of many of these stressors, that heartache doesn't always come from failed cycles.  In my case, it comes in the form of researching your insurance until you're blue in the face and still being denied a referral to an RE simply because you denied unsound medical intervention at your OB/Gyn level.  It comes in the way of months of unnecessary appointments just to get around the approval process.  It rears it's ugly head just when you thought you've fired your former Gyn because he falsified medical records but now you can only rely on them in order for your treatments to finally begin after two years.  This life is not conducive to being stress free. It is frustrating, upsetting, mind-blowing, heart breaking and most of all stressful.  It is something you should remember before you tell your loved one "relax, it will happen when you least expect it".

I'm a little sad but mostly confused.  TB had a major fallout between me posting yesterday and going to check updates today.  For the past 9 months or so, it has been a small community I've been able to participate in.  To help get answers and support during this crazy IF struggle and to give support in return.  Last nights change banned a lot of regular users and put our board on radio silent for 24 hours.  After much searching, the only thing I could find were posts about the terms of use and a link to a pro-boards community.  

Interestingly enough, my last community on the Nest also had a mass exodus to pro-boards.  I stayed on it for a couple of years and even attended a few get togethers with local Knot and Nest members.  Unfortunately, the community vibe had changed over time and I decided it was my time to go.  So this morning when I created my new pro-boards account and found that any of my email addresses, which would be public knowledge, are all too identifying, I decided it was much too familiar.  

With that, I think for at least a short time, I'll be stepping away from the Bump.  Something I had never imagined would happen so suddenly.  I'm a little frightened that I may not be ready but for now that's what I've decided.  I hope I'm in a good enough place to navigate this by myself from now on.  I'm sure I'll reference old posts for questions.  For now though, my IF life will be condensed to this little old blog.  With so many changes on the horizon, I'm sure I'll have enough on my plate to distract me anyway.  

So any 3Ters out there, I wish you the best.  

I realize I'm posting less often than usual and I only slightly feel bad about that.  In the past couple of weeks we've had some busy times.  First off, we finally changed over to our new insurance and are working with my PCP to get an official referral for the RE.  We decided recently against Babe going through insurance for a repeat SA.  Because of this, we can essentially schedule it at any time.  Unfortunately my husband has decided that he would like to wait until he starts a new job at the beginning of February.  He believes that this will leave him less stressed than before and able to give a better sample.  Personally I think he'll find less time to do it in and be more stressed in the new job.  It's not worth the argument though.  He's already made so many changes to help with our success that I'm very grateful for.  

Speaking of changes, we both decided to eliminate something from our diets.  Since I always have a difficult time remembering not to drink soda, I've asked him to keep me accountable.  In return, he is no longer drinking beer and will drastically cut back on alcohol altogether.  I'm pretty excited about the change because I know it's not even that big of a deal for either of us.  I drink soda out of habit and I can definitely use less sugar and caffeine.  I've cut it from my diet before with no significant results so I'm not expecting too much.  It's just nice to know I'll be doing something healthy for myself.

Recently I mentioned that we were looking at puppies.  After a really emotional trip to a PetSmart adoption fair we've decided to wait just a couple of weeks.  We have a busy weekend coming up and to leave a puppy home alone 5 days a week then again on a weekend is just too cruel.  In the meantime, Babe and I have been mulling over pug and dachshund litters to adopt.  I'm looking forward to the addition it will be for our family.  Since I've never owned a dog let alone any pet we're both pretty nervous about it.  Thankfully I'm married to beast master Jr. 

With all of these little things happening in our life we've also decided to take on one more hurdle.  We're going to refinance our house!  Over the weekend we settled on a lender and are in the process of negotiating the interest rate. If it works out as planned, we'll be saving almost 2%  in interest PLUS be able to take out some cash for some much needed updates on our little home.  

So far it's a great start to a new year. 

So I think I've finally broken him.  Well not so much broken him but bugged him enough that he's now on board to get a puppy.  Albeit he still likes thinking he's the leader in our household and can veto that and any other decision at any time.  I'd like to think of it as a partnership that we both respect the other enough to not do something so outrageous as bringing home a puppy without discussion.  Or would we?  

Anyways, as Babe is the king of all research he's had me research everything about having a new puppy, what breeds are good for us, how we'd train it, it's living conditions, etc.  Since I agree that it's important to know most of that anyway I'm happy to oblige.  In the meantime of course, I'm scouring rescues and shelters looking for just the right puppy for us.  And of course every one I'm looking at I'm falling in love with on the spot.  

Hopefully in the next couple of months we'll have a new little addition to the DD family.  

May 2015 bring you peace and love no matter what the outcome.

Happy New Year from Dominican Dreamer!