I'm trying to wrap my head around how to respond to a comment recently made to me.  Or if I do at all.  My husband and I were thrown a co-ed baby shower by my sister, my sister-in-law and my mom.  It was amazing and I loved every minute of it.  There were a few little things that stood out that I'm having a hard time knowing what to do about them.

The first was when my mom thanked everyone for coming to celebrate.  It was a sweet thank you followed by a prayer at which time her and her husband never mentioned E or I.  They said they were grateful for their new grandbaby and that of my father-in-law as well but nothing about us as parents.  This has been a theme throughout our pregnancy and at times it's really bothered me.  My mom constantly calls the baby hers or theirs, celebrates with her husband whenever I share a milestone of our little Bean and now this.  Although the speech/prayer in and of itself isn't really that big of a deal I don't know how much more to express that the baby I've carried for 9 months is a product of E and I only.

So then after we had eaten and my mom and I were mid conversation when her husband leaned over to whisper in my ear "your mom really wants to be in the delivery room".  :::blank stare:::  Not only was it awkward that it was brought up right in front of her and by him but literally mid-sentence.  What do I do with that information without offending her/them?  My answer has and will always be a resounding "NO" for many reasons.  Do I even have to address it though since it wasn't a request made directly by my mom?  And if so how much do I tell her?  No, because it's a special moment I want to share with E only.  No, because we've never been close enough to share that type of relationship and I would feel incredibly uncomfortable.  No, because you don't seem to understand that this is not your child but that you are grandma.

I feel as though he put me in such a weird position to define ourselves to them and I'm really at a loss.  I genuinely don't want to hurt her feelings so I plan to keep quiet for now but it's starting to cause me a lot of concern that it may come up in the hospital or at an even more awkward time.  Oy vey.

It's been so long and so much has happened since my last post.  We got to see baby bean again and he's doing so perfect. My OB actually said it was a perfect pregnancy which was so great to hear a couple of very frustrating appointments and a worrisome mama.  By the end of this month we'll be able to see him another two times, once for a standard appointment and another for my anatomy scan at the perinatologists.  Of course with every new appointment comes the added stress that they'll find something wrong followed by the relief that all is okay.  I'm trying to take one appointment at a time and relish in the fact that I have a healthy baby growing inside of me that will join us in just 5 months time.

Aside from baby we've been incredibly busy now that we're new home owners again!  Our houses closed on the 25th and 26th and we were finally able to move on the 3rd.  Thankfully Babe was understanding enough with both our health that we hired movers making it the most boring moving day ever.  I'm so not used to that.  But 10 hours later and Babe and I were on, unpacking boxes and making this new home ours.  It's been 5 days and we're doing pretty well with the transition.  Babe by the way is a rockstar when it comes to home maintenance and I never know why I'm so surprised.  It also bugs him that I am, sorry Babe, I don't mean to have little faith.  It's just, that man can locate just about any problem, pick up a tool and with only a handful of curse words and a trip or two to Home Depot have it fixed in no time.  He's definitely taking on the lion-share of housework/unpacking without one complaint after I ended up with swollen ankles and belly pain over the weekend.  

And now that we've completed that hurdle, I've been taken off of the baby related purchase ban.  Babe actually started it off by suggesting we stop off at the bookstore on the way home one day.  He said he needed a how-to book for the house and suggested I look around for a new read for myself.  Instead I walked to the very back of the bookstore to the children's section and set out to look for "My I Love You".  Five seconds later E strolls to the same section to look for the exact same book, the real reason he wanted to stop.  Of course I always ruin surprises and this was no different.  Except that both baby beans mommy and daddy had the same idea for his first baby item and it was still such a sweet surprise.

With that I'll leave you with two of my favorite pictures from this weekend.  The first is our new killer view from the back of the house and the second is the master bedroom accent wall which just happened to match my nail polish.  I swear it wasn't planned.

I was so excited to post about this new book that I made sure to take a photo of it the minute I walked in from the bookstore.  Only problem is, that was 2 weeks ago and I've been so busy preparing for NIAW that I totally forgot about it.  So anyways, here it is "The Goldfinch" by Donna Tartt.

I'm already a couple chapters in and loving it.  Of course I'm sure that's what I say about all my books though.  Actually this one was a recommendation from 3T many moons ago.  Since then it's been on my wishlist waiting until it comes out on paperback (I can't handle hard cover and book jackets).  Then for my birthday I got $75 in Barnes & Noble gift cards and of course already spent every penny.  But now that my weekends are finally starting to mellow out I can get back to reading on my free time and not just lunch breaks.  Woo hoo!

Stay tuned this weekend for my NIAW post and something else I'm super excited to share with you the rest of the week.  

This weekend I was able to sit and speak candidly with my new OB/Gyn about my endometriosis concerns.  I'd tried to have this conversation with my last Gyn but if I remember correctly I was too nervous to remember to bring it up during my one and only visit.  Regardless, I'd shared my symptoms with my RE who admittedly does not know much about endo to offer his help but recommended I speak with my doctor about it and keep him informed so he could be involved.  I'd scheduled my appointment about a month ago and on Saturday lugged all of my relevant records and test results to his office.

Dr. J had kindly looked at my charts prior to me even stepping foot in the door which I was very thankful for.  Without even introducing myself to him he already knew of my history rather than catching himself up for the duration of our meeting.  I was very open and straight forward with him.  I believe I have endo and I'm concerned that if it doesn't get resolved I will never have a chance to conceive naturally considering I only feel ovulation on my left side and if  I do become pregnant am afraid of the likelihood of an ectopic pregnancy in my left tube.  What can I do before we proceed with an IUI?  He was frank.  Endo cannot be removed from fallopian tubes without causing even more damage to them.  Even the act of putting the camera in me could cause even more adhesions and scar tissue.  My left tube should be considered non-existent.  It's possible an extra sensitive ovary is being mistaken for ovulation pain and that I am in fact ovulating on the right.  Considering the ways to diagnose and treat endo are counterproductive to conceiving, Dr. J encouraged E and I to move forward with the IUI.  He was generous in saying that  if I truly wanted him to proceed with treatment now he would, but he feels I have better chances with an IUI now than if I would wait to be treated.  His suggestion is that if after 3 IUI cycles I still want to move forward, he would feel more comfortable treating me then.  

It was a relief to get that appointment out of the way.  For someone who's had two and a half years to study my condition, it felt nice to have an educated conversation with a doctor and not feel disregarded.  Doctors are so used to being the expert in every medical field that when you come to them with information it often time results in being blown off.  With Dr. J and with Dr. N, my RE, I don't feel that way at all.  I'm genuinely looking forward to having them on our side.  

I turned 30 over the weekend.  I turned 30, my husband fractured his knee and we found out we qualify for IUI cycles. You could say it was a pretty eventful weekend.  

First, Babe should be fine.  Although he's in a lot of pain and rather uncomfortable from crutches and a leg immobilizer, he's hanging in there.  Like the kind man he is, he helped some EMT's carry another man down some stairs and his knee just didn't hold up.  An old fracture emerged which landed him in the ER for the rest of the day.  

In the meantime, we received notice that Babe's SA had improved significantly.  Enough that with our combined medical problems we have a shot, albeit small, to attempt IUI's.  After reviewing our insurance, our finances and the cost to do each round, Babe and I decided it would be worth it to try.  

We'll be waiting a couple cycles while our RE is out of the office and potentially clear up some endometriosis.  Once he returns full-time, April or May, we should be ready to start our first medicated cycle.  The plan is to be on oral Letrozole, a medication usually used to help treat cancer patients.  Then the we'll jumpstart ovulation with an injectible HCG followed by the RE doing two back-to-back inseminations and then Progesterone supplements.  

My only knowledge of IUI's has mostly been negative or ineffective.  Maybe this is because I was a part of an infertility board where anyone who had a success usually moved on.  So against my better judgement I Googled IUI success stories. I just needed to know that although it may not be our result, it's still possible.  Since this may very well be our first real chance to conceive I want to stay positive.  Call me naive but it has to be part of my process.

So while we're waiting, I will be visiting my new OB/Gyn to talk about my pain and possible endo.  Clearing it up probably won't make our IUI more successful but I hope it would make conceiving without intervention more of an option.  Crossing fingers.

The weekend was long and busier than we expected it to be because we added a new member to our little family. Introducing Roxy, our ten week old puggle baby, or my 30th birthday present from Babe.  She's so sweet and so good and just so, ahhh.  We already love her.

 

We picked her up Saturday and immediately took her to the vet for a check up.  Then after spending most of the day lying around we were in for a rough first night.  Although I have to give a huge thanks to her mom's family for potty training her because that's been a huge weight lifted.  Especially because by last night, she was well into a good bedtime routine.  

I realize I'm posting less often than usual and I only slightly feel bad about that.  In the past couple of weeks we've had some busy times.  First off, we finally changed over to our new insurance and are working with my PCP to get an official referral for the RE.  We decided recently against Babe going through insurance for a repeat SA.  Because of this, we can essentially schedule it at any time.  Unfortunately my husband has decided that he would like to wait until he starts a new job at the beginning of February.  He believes that this will leave him less stressed than before and able to give a better sample.  Personally I think he'll find less time to do it in and be more stressed in the new job.  It's not worth the argument though.  He's already made so many changes to help with our success that I'm very grateful for.  

Speaking of changes, we both decided to eliminate something from our diets.  Since I always have a difficult time remembering not to drink soda, I've asked him to keep me accountable.  In return, he is no longer drinking beer and will drastically cut back on alcohol altogether.  I'm pretty excited about the change because I know it's not even that big of a deal for either of us.  I drink soda out of habit and I can definitely use less sugar and caffeine.  I've cut it from my diet before with no significant results so I'm not expecting too much.  It's just nice to know I'll be doing something healthy for myself.

Recently I mentioned that we were looking at puppies.  After a really emotional trip to a PetSmart adoption fair we've decided to wait just a couple of weeks.  We have a busy weekend coming up and to leave a puppy home alone 5 days a week then again on a weekend is just too cruel.  In the meantime, Babe and I have been mulling over pug and dachshund litters to adopt.  I'm looking forward to the addition it will be for our family.  Since I've never owned a dog let alone any pet we're both pretty nervous about it.  Thankfully I'm married to beast master Jr. 

With all of these little things happening in our life we've also decided to take on one more hurdle.  We're going to refinance our house!  Over the weekend we settled on a lender and are in the process of negotiating the interest rate. If it works out as planned, we'll be saving almost 2%  in interest PLUS be able to take out some cash for some much needed updates on our little home.  

So far it's a great start to a new year. 

Happy first day of December!  I'm pretty sure it's like new years in my mind.  This week has so many exciting things in store for it I can't even wait.  This last week was pretty kick ass too.  I finished my book just in time to prep for the weekend and of course there was Thanksgiving.  

My family came over for the occasion and literally cooked everything for us.  It was amazing.  My sister and her brood stayed the night to make it easier and left the next day leaving her two little ones behind.  Since Babe had to work on Friday the plan was to hang out with the nephews until that evening.  Surprisingly he got off early so we were able to get lunch and do a little black Friday toy shopping with them.  Then in the evening we went to the Mission Inn in Riverside for the festival of lights.  The boys loved it and we had such a blast with them.

Now I'm back at work trying to plan the coming weeks as best as I can.  Tonight we'll be attending the swearing in ceremony at my brother-in-law's law school.  Wednesday we have our much anticipated RE consultation.  It's been a long time in the making and it's finally (almost) here.  Then on Saturday I'll be taking Babe out for an anniversary gift.  I have tickets to something I really think he'll enjoy but because he may read this, I won't say what just yet.  Hopefully he likes it as much as I think he will.

Anyway, I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving as well.  Now bring on Christmas.  

It was so good.  I'm talking about the book I just finished, The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield.  It was the perfect mix between mystery, scandal and love, and I'm not even talking the mushy kind.  Now I'm on another roll to see how many I can read before the end of the year.  I've honestly lost track but am pretty sure I'm right around 20.  I'll have to check after this.

Anyway, I'm ready for the next book and can't wait to start it.  This one is called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon.  When we were in New York we actually saw that it had been turned into an off Broadway play.  I was slightly less intrigued by it than the book simply because I hadn't read it yet, so we passed.  

This one may take a little longer to finish because I'm knee deep in house cleaning and preparing for Thanksgiving when the whole fandamily descends on the DD household.  Then I will have both of my sister's boys for our first over-nighter while they celebrate her husbands birthday.  I'm super excited but totally nervous.  

There's no easy way to sum up our trip to the east coast.  What was expected to be a long 10 day vacation through Washington D.C., Gettysburg, PA and New York City was much more exciting than that.  We walked 75 miles to places like the Lincoln Memorial, US Capitol building, Gettysburg National Park, Arlington Cemetery, Time Square, Little Italy and Central Park.  My feet got blistery and hurt like hell but it truly was a once in a lifetime experience for us.

As I mentioned before, the D.C./Gettysburg leg of our trip was definitely for my husband and NY for me.  Surprisingly we both really enjoyed each others planning and were really gung ho about everything.  Much of the trip was expected but there were a few detours.  For example, due to a bad tour guide, we cut our Library of Congress trip short and added the National Archives.  When we noticed that Jennifer Hudson and Jessie J. were doing a sound check in the National Mall, we stopped to listen and sing along.  After finding out that our dinner location of choice was closed on Sundays, we drove to a little joint called Hank's Oyster Bar in Alexandria, VA.  In New York it was fun exploring places like Rockefeller Plaza and New York Public Library at the drop of a hat.

Here's just a couple of photos from our trip to share with you although they could never capture the sounds, smells and pride you get from being is such beautiful and historical places.  

I am having a blast this week. Our vacation just finished in DC and started in NYC and I couldn't be happier. 

After 6 days walking all over the place, we calculated that we've walked a total of 53 miles! Now that were in NY, the walking is less rushed and for me a whole lot more entertaining. Don't get me wrong, DC was incredible, but it was definitely more of Babe's thing. 

Now our dogs are resting as we settle in for an early night with warm almonds and a beer from Times Square. 

I'll update more when I get back and for now just leave you with this. 

DD

Procrastination is something I'm an expert at.  Don't get me wrong, I'm excellent at planning and prepping but procrastination is on a whole different level for me.  What does that mean you ask?  Well, it means that while I've washed and folded 6 loads of laundry, purchased all our toiletries and printed our itineraries for the trip, I've yet to pack one bit of it.  We leave in 2 days and all those items are strewn about the house in various shopping bags and baskets.  

That also means that until we fly out, there's no way I'm going to have time to do almost anything else.  Which is only slightly okay with me.  You see, our vacation isn't exactly the relaxing kind.  No hanging out on the beach with a tropical cocktail.  Instead we'll be waking up bright and early Saturday morning to take a tour of the White House.  I mean the White House!  How cool is that?  So I may complain about having no down time for the next 18 days (between vacation, work and weddings) but I'm beyond pumped for it.  

Being emotional is not my thing.  Or more accurately, I hate that being emotional is my thing these days. My temps started dropping yesterday and are officially below my coverline.  When Babe happily mentioned that this was the month, I quickly retorted then regretted with "it's not going to happen, my temps dropped and I'm spotting".  I have to remember he's with me on this.  

So now I'm sitting at my desk imagining the questions I'm going to undoubtedly have to answer this weekend. Questions that I want asked so I can have a chance to talk about it but that I'm also somewhat dreading.  It'll be the first time in a long time that I've been with just my family.  My large family of mostly women and their 13 children from 3 months to 14 years.  It'll definitely be bitter-sweet.  Then we plan on seeing our best friends J&C since their baby was born over a month ago.  I feel so bad that it's been so long but also a little sad with the reality of it.  

Then there's the fact that we have officially been trying to conceive for 2 full years now.  It's not an experience I would wish on anyone, though sometimes I wish they'd understand it better.  So tonight I plan on cuddling with my man on our couch starting our annual scary movie marathon and drinking large amounts of wine or saki or both.  Too bad it's going to be 100° otherwise the fireplace would definitely be burning.

I am officially done with crazy book.  Thank goodness!  It was such a train-wreck and so difficult to follow in spurts which made it hard to keep my interest.  To help get me through it though, I did read through all of Gone Girl and had my next book ready and waiting. My next book is... drum roll please... And The Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini.

If you haven't read Khaled Hosseini before, I feel very sorry for you. No I'm just kidding.  But seriously, his books Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns are quite possibly two of my favorite books.  Reading them is the epitome of immersing yourself in a world you never would have experienced in your everyday life. They're moving and so powerfully written, I just can't describe it. One of my coworkers lost her father who brought the passion of reading into her life.  Since then she hasn't been able to pick up a book and follow it all the way through.  I lent her my copy of Kite Runner and now there isn't a spare moment I don't turn around to see her nose in a new book.  

Okay so my point is, please read these two books if you haven't already.  Please.  Now I can't vouch for his newest one, And The Mountains Echoed, but I'm hoping it's just as great as his others. As soon as I'm done I'll let you know.  

Besides reading, I've been pretty busy with the rest of my life.  The Walk of Hope was this past Sunday and I'm so glad I went.  It was the smallest walk I've ever participated in but it was great nonetheless.  There was a moment when we had made it all the way to the pier and turned around to walk back and I could see all the people who had been walking behind us.  It made me tear up knowing each of these people had overcome the taboo topic of infertility to come together for them or someone they love.  It made me so proud to be apart of it.  

Afterwards we had lunch with our OC friends since we were in the area. These are friends who live more than an hour a way but try to make it out to the I.E. whenever they can.  It had been almost six months since the last time we saw each other and it always feels like home when I see them.  Last year Babe and I had inadvertently thrown a naughty Christmas party for all our friends and we had been considering making it a tradition.  How do you do that you ask? Well you look up synonyms for a white elephant and send out an invite with the words "dirty santa" with a totally innocent mind.  Then your husband answers yes when asked, "are we supposed to bring 'dirty' gifts".  Everyone got pretty creative especially our OC friends.  Well over lunch they had told us the gift they received from us had been the topic of conversation among their friends and were excited for us to throw another one.  So it looks like we're doing it again this year. Except, how do we top this...

I've been an emotional wreck the last couple of days.  Yesterday I even asked Babe to back off because I needed space.  I'd rather him be mad at me for that then blowing up on something so stupid.  There's no real reason for my melodrama, just me being stupid.  It started after we received a wedding invitation in the mail.  We had made plans in advance around it and instead of sticking to the plans, we both had other ideas.  Then I got frustrated that I was ovulating and getting pushed aside until the very last minute.  Of course I then didn't want to fool around because who wants to make a baby when you're arguing.  It was all very silly and I felt stupid about it.

Anyway, in the DD household there are a couple of other very exciting things happening this weekend.  Babe was asked to be our nieces Godfather so we're going to get some paperwork squared away at the San Gabriel Mission. Then on Sunday we're doing our very first Walk of Hope in Long Beach.  Resolve is putting this event on to bring awareness and raise awareness for infertility.  I'm hoping that there will be a ton of resources available to us there as well as some great networking opportunities.  So much for a quiet weekend staying home and cleaning.

So there have been quite a few things happening since my last post.  First off, I finally introduced myself on the 3T board.  It felt right and has turned out to be much better than I was expecting.  So far I haven't become obsessed with my IF and it hasn't been all consuming.

Baby D was born to J&C 8/28 weighing over 6 lbs.  According to the doctors he was a micro-preemie since he was born at 35 weeks.  The general consensus is that the doctors had the wrong due date and that he's only a week early and not 5. Baby D and mommy were both okay and are home now.

Babe is finally back to working normal 8 hour days instead of the grueling 16 hour ones.  In celebration, he, his brothers and his dad planned a trip to Vegas.  While he was away I planned to pick our nephew up from preschool for his dad and help my sister-in-law out a bit as well as feed my father-in-law's dog.  In two days I basically drove all over southern California to do an airport drop-off, hang out with my sister, feed pets, pick up kids, dinner and watch soccer games.  By Saturday night I was beat.  Thankfully Babe was just as exhausted when he got home that all we did was sleep.

At some point this weekend I mentioned to him that there was a Resolve Walk of Hope happening this month in Long Beach.  It's something that I literally just ran across and thought it might be a good time to network and find IF resources.  Interestingly enough he said that while they were in Vegas, his brother asked us how things had been going and if both of us had been tested.  Babe of course had to brag that in the average SA there are 20 million sperm per ounce and that he had 90 million.  They talked a little bit about IVF and adoption and which ones we were considering depending on how the next year or so go.  Two great things came out of it.  One, everyone we're close to now knows and I didn't have to be the one to share it.  And two, it's reassuring to know Babe has these conversations with his brothers and that he feels at all comfortable discussing our IF.  It made me all warm and fuzzy hearing him tell me about it.  Hopefully he'll be comfortable enough to join me at the walk in a couple of weeks too.  

Sometimes I feel like the responsibility of getting pregnant is mine alone.  For the last year I've worked on getting the right tests, doctors, and am now looking into insurance for IF coverage for next year.  Then every morning I take my temperature at 5:45 and every night before bed I take my medication.  Then I proceed to gather that data on a daily basis looking for signs of fertile cervical fluid, take ovulation tests (OPK) as necessary and as sweetly as possible try to let Babe know when our window will be.  And as much as he hates timed intercourse, so do I.  There's nothing about telling your spouse that we have to have sex now or for the next xx days that's romantic.  It's up to us to do that.  

Each time I try to change my approach.  I've tried not telling him at all and just attempted to make it happen, tried giving him a month heads up, a week heads up, a couple of days notice.  I've even gone as far as left my OPK's on the counter so he can see the positive himself.  I'm concerned that when we finally are in the midst of IF treatments that he won't be willing to have timed intercourse on Dr.'s orders then either.  I'm just so frustrated and more than a little hurt. There doesn't seem to be a solution.

This past weekend I had two days of positive OPK's.  Instead we had sex the day the tests turned negative again. Babe's response "well then you just got lucky sex".  At some point during the weekend I had a breakdown and it's taking everything not to do it again as I type this.  Right now though, he's under a lot of pressure at work and so I can kind of understand if it's too much.  Once it's over though, I plan to have a serious conversation with him about my concerns.  He says he wants to have kids.  Does he though, or is this all just me?  I don't just need him for a shoulder to cry on, I need him through this too.  If anyone tries to tell you IF isn't hard on a marriage, they're lying through their teeth.

The last couple of weeks I've been working at getting my Bump account updated by the moderators/techies.  I have an old account with my actual name so I opened a new account with new username and email address.  Then when I went in to change the email address it linked the two accounts together.  Because of that, my signature with all my TTTC (trouble trying to conceive) data is now attached to my old account as well.  We finally got the old account deleted but my old posts are still there with my signature.  Today TB finally asked me for links to those old posts so they can delete them for me.  As I was going through one of my old posts I noticed two girls from my old board who also have TTTC signatures.  Both of them kept their usernames which can be easily identified.  One is currently a mom of one now struggling again to conceive baby #2.  The other shows she's a mom of one and doesn't say if she's trying for anymore.

It got me thinking though, why do I find it so important to keep my identity a secret?  I don't even plan on posting to the 3T board right now and yet I'm terrified of people from my old life knowing who I am and what I'm struggling with.  I'm not ashamed.  At least I don't think I am.  I'm also no longer completely closeted to friends and family.  The only thing I can pinpoint is that we haven't come out to everyone close to us yet and therefore it's unfair to them.  That may just be an excuse though, I'm not quite sure.

On another note, I sent an email to my benefits administrator about open enrollment and she said I should expect to hear something in the next two weeks!  I never actually believed that when I started this blog 8 months ago that I would truly be waiting to go to open enrollment a year later.  Having IF coverage comes with its own set of concerns. I'm worried my new insurance will have 1 year requirement with an OB/Gyn before being referred to a RE (reproductive endocrinologist).  I'm afraid that I won't find one that I like or that isn't as driven to find an answer as we(I) are.  My current gynecologist is turning out to be that way.  I guess I can't blame him considering he's not in the IF business.  I'm also a little nervous, but hopeful, that if I have to see another OB/Gyn or start with a RE, that they will redo many of the tests already performed.  It would be great to have an correct updated version but I worry that we would be 50% oop (out of pocket) for tests we didn't have to pay a dime for previously.  This just reminds me that IF is a lot of work.

And lastly, this weekend Babe's cousin N welcomed her beautiful baby girl into the family.  I've yet to meet her but her pictures are really adorable and she looks so much like her daddy.  People can say what they want but no baby I've seen to date looks like a potato.  They all have such distinct features from day one.  

It's Monday and I'm reluctantly back at work with a case of the "wish-the-weekend-was-longer" blues.  It was amazing in so many different ways.  The only thing that could have been better was seeing our best friends and spending time with my mom.  But I've vowed to do that all very soon.

Friday I received an early morning phone call from my sister.  At first I was a little perturbed since both Babe and I were asleep and I was excited about sleeping in.  Unfortunately sleeping in for me was to crash for another 15-30 minutes before returning her call.  Apparently she had scheduled a doctors appointment at the same time my nephew has his swim lessons.  Since Babe and I were the cause of him ditching last week, I figured it would be a good excuse to make the 30 mile drive to Pasadena to spend the morning with him.  It was a short trip but I'm so glad I made it.  The drive was definitely worth seeing that little face and hearing all his goofy stories.  Then later that day as I was running errands I got a text from my father-in-law asking if I wanted to see a movie with him since I had the day off.  We went to see Lucy which was ridiculous and not in a urban dictionary sort of way.  Once Babe was home, we made a last minute decision to go have dinner with some friends and visit a few breweries.  We started off in Anaheim at Noble Aleworks and found our way to Bottle Logic.  Although the guys were great at the first, Bottle Logic was definitely my favorite of the two.  They had a really nice selection in ales and great atmosphere.  

Our only plans for Saturday were to get up early and go yard-saling to look for a treadmill.  After 3 hours, no luck and picking up my father-in-law to join us on our quest, we finally stopped to have breakfast.  With nothing else to do we ran some fun errands to Home Depot and Bed, Bath and Beyond.  Let me tell you something about me.  Shopping for clothes is not my thing.  I can however shop for hours and spend hundreds in a home improvement store.  I've even been known to go 9 different times in one week to finish a project.  I LOVE IT!  Anyway, we walked out with a cart full of stuff for the yard and around the house which I promptly began to work on as soon as we got home.  The rest of the day consisted of swimming, lounging around the house, trying out a new Thai joint by our house (which reminds me I have to review on Yelp) and watching Netflix shows to our hearts content.  And holy Blackfish!  That was just as awful as The Cove.  If you don't know what I'm talking about look it up.  

The next morning we got to work cleaning the house to have Babe's dad, brother and his family over to swim.  It was fun getting to play with the kids and catch up with everyone all together.  By the time they left, Babe and I were hungry and exhausted.  

Now I'm sitting here having husband withdrawals and planning the next month of weekends.  Oh yeah, and searching the web for Beagle rescues trying to convince my husband.  

I have no real answer for where I've been the last week.  I only know that the time taken off wasn't entirely necessary, just nice to have.  It started with me coming home from Arizona feeling pretty lousy and having to go to the doctor to get checked out Monday.  Then going into work Tuesday and feeling even worse. Before I knew it, Wednesday and Thursday had gone and I didn't feel one ounce of regret for not posting.

Now that this week has begun I'm feeling the urge to write again.  I found that in doing so, I work out the kinks in my own mind before I spread my weirdness to others.  It's helped.

Arizona was a blast and yet it wasn't.  I have a hard time vacationing with my family.  Originally I thought it was my moms need for complete planning on traveling which may be part of it, but I find that the common denominator is me. First off, it's hard being on other peoples schedule for long periods of time.  It's also difficult when you have no means of deviating because you're not the driver.  And as I've mentioned before, I can't stand when people push you to do whatever it is that they want to do but don't offer the same consideration.  Basically I'm stubborn in the worst way. Couple all that with fitting in tight spaces with a preschooler and infant and you start to think they're the calm ones.

But we survived.  Barely.  My sister surprised my brother by coming with us with both nephews.  It was the first time his family has met little MKV after 3 months.  It was so sweet to see everyone's reaction when they saw each other for the first time.  It made for great photos.  We got to spend a lot of time with my brother and his family one last time before his temporary base assignment and move to AL.  He was in such a good mood which made it so awesome. My nephews had a blast playing with each other and my brother's son even asked if he could keep my sister's son at their house when we had to leave.  Those boys are a crack up.  It was great catching up with them and having a weekend devoted to family.  I'm so proud of my brother, the man, husband and dad he's become.  I don't think I've ever been more proud of him.