I was reminded of this again today and I can't help but share how much I love it.  It's a poem you may have read before by MaryAnn K. Cusimano called You are my I love you.  Many of the lines I've yet to experience but there were still a few as baby beans mom that are already so accurate.  

I am your parent, you are my child
I am your quiet place, you are my wild
I am your calm face, you are my giggle
I am your wait, you are my wiggle
I am your audience, you are my clown
I am your London Bridge, you are my falling down
I am your carrot sticks, you are my licorice
I am your dandelion, you are my first wish
I am your water wings, you are my deep
I am your open arms, you are my running leap
I am your way home, you are my new path
I am your dry towel, you are my wet bath
I am your dinner, you are my chocolate cake
I am your bedtime, you are my wide awake
I am your finish line, you are my race
I am your praying hands, you are my saying grace
I am your favorite book, you are my new lines
I am your nightlight, you are my sunshine
I am your lullaby, you are my peek-a-boo
I am your kiss goodnight, you are my I love you

In planning for our soon-to-be nursery, I've looked at many design ideas that have caught my attention.  But none I like more than the little library complete with cardboard books for baby bean and us to share.  Once we're moved in this will be the very first book I buy for it.  

Life is a whirlwind these days while we're buying and selling a house, working full time, packing and trying to plan for a baby and all the appointments it entails.  Don't get me wrong, I'm loving almost every minute of it and will absolutely be happy to reap the benefits.  The downside to moving when you're 3 months pregnant though is that your husband might not allow you buy anything for the baby until you're 100% moved in.  I've literally pored over page after page of cute baby clothes, nursery design ideas and how-to's on Pinterest only to be able to pin them to my private board.  No buying for this mama just yet.  No planning for a nursery for a couple more weeks.  And no hypothetically dressing my baby until there's a room to put said clothes in.  So although I'm super excited to be moving into our forever home in less than a month, I'm even more excited to be able to get into this pregnancy in real life, not just on the internet and in my mind.  

Speaking of real life.  We're getting so close to the end of 1st trimester (holy crap I JUST realized I'm 12 weeks already) that we put together a little pregnancy announcement for our friends and family.  Most know we're moving soon so we thought a great tie in would be a moving announcement by postcard.  Long story short, after dealing with social media and infertility, I really didn't want to share my own pregnancy with 1/2 strangers and people who would genuinely be hurt by the announcement.  The picture on the front of the postcard shows a picture of Babe, myself and Roxy standing on the porch of our current home with a box packed for the nursery captioned "We're moving...because we need a little more space".  It should reach family and friends from California to New York by early next week and we can again be another step closer to living life like a pregnant couple.

Then next Thursday we're scheduled for a series of appointments for the baby.  The first is the usual NT scan to check the baby for genetic disorders like down syndrome.  That will be followed by a high risk diabetes specialist.  It's a little too late now but for the past 4 years or so I have been treated for diabetes.  I tested once as a borderline diabetic and was asked to diet and exercise to bring my blood sugar down and it did.  The next doctor who saw the original tests then put me on 500 mg of Metformin.  Then at the beginning of the year another doctor ordered me to start taking 2000 mg (I might be forgetting a step in there too) because I was also struggling with infertility.  Fast forward to my first OB appointment and she's shocked that I've never really tested diabetic but there's nothing they can do for me now. So more than likely I'll be required to test my sugar for the remainder of my pregnancy to ensure Bean is safe.  While they're at it though they're going to take a better look at Bean's twin to see if everything is progressing okay.  I've been told that with a vanishing twin you can potentially have high blood pressure throughout pregnancy but am reading that there should be no other complications to little Bean.  Here's hoping everything looks great and I can see him kicking around in there again.

So yeah life is crazy right now but it's also just the beginning.