I'm trying to wrap my head around how to respond to a comment recently made to me. Or if I do at all. My husband and I were thrown a co-ed baby shower by my sister, my sister-in-law and my mom. It was amazing and I loved every minute of it. There were a few little things that stood out that I'm having a hard time knowing what to do about them.
The first was when my mom thanked everyone for coming to celebrate. It was a sweet thank you followed by a prayer at which time her and her husband never mentioned E or I. They said they were grateful for their new grandbaby and that of my father-in-law as well but nothing about us as parents. This has been a theme throughout our pregnancy and at times it's really bothered me. My mom constantly calls the baby hers or theirs, celebrates with her husband whenever I share a milestone of our little Bean and now this. Although the speech/prayer in and of itself isn't really that big of a deal I don't know how much more to express that the baby I've carried for 9 months is a product of E and I only.
So then after we had eaten and my mom and I were mid conversation when her husband leaned over to whisper in my ear "your mom really wants to be in the delivery room". :::blank stare::: Not only was it awkward that it was brought up right in front of her and by him but literally mid-sentence. What do I do with that information without offending her/them? My answer has and will always be a resounding "NO" for many reasons. Do I even have to address it though since it wasn't a request made directly by my mom? And if so how much do I tell her? No, because it's a special moment I want to share with E only. No, because we've never been close enough to share that type of relationship and I would feel incredibly uncomfortable. No, because you don't seem to understand that this is not your child but that you are grandma.
I feel as though he put me in such a weird position to define ourselves to them and I'm really at a loss. I genuinely don't want to hurt her feelings so I plan to keep quiet for now but it's starting to cause me a lot of concern that it may come up in the hospital or at an even more awkward time. Oy vey.
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