Whoever said you should relax?

For someone dealing with the roller coaster ride of infertility, as cliche as that sounds, the idea of relaxing like so many well wishers profess is a complete joke.  

Let's for a minute assume that your reproductive biology is directly linked to stress in such a significant way. Everything you must deal with is exactly the opposite of relaxing or stress free.  Doctors, appointments (two totally separate categories), medical staff, insurance groups, medical groups, waiting periods, referrals, approvals, pharmacies, medications, vitamins, charting/temping, ovulation tests, blood tests, pregnancy tests, the two week wait, semen analysis, HSG's, saline sonograms, more medication, ultrasounds, timed intercourse, hormones, work - time off, benefits, etc., unsolicited advice, other peoples pregnancies and babies, aging, support groups or lack thereof, LIFE, and still more medication.  Then if you're lucky and have been diagnosed or are ready for treatment you've got injections, sperm samples, egg retrieval, embryo/sperm/egg adoption, paperwork, artificial insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF), possible surgery, etc., etc., etc.  

And if you're still of the mindset that a trip to Europe will cure it, please don't for a second think that your friend's uncle's cousin's brother and his wife got pregnant the second they stopped all that BECAUSE they stopped all of that. That's truly not the case.  

I've realized before, but am again in the midst of many of these stressors, that heartache doesn't always come from failed cycles.  In my case, it comes in the form of researching your insurance until you're blue in the face and still being denied a referral to an RE simply because you denied unsound medical intervention at your OB/Gyn level.  It comes in the way of months of unnecessary appointments just to get around the approval process.  It rears it's ugly head just when you thought you've fired your former Gyn because he falsified medical records but now you can only rely on them in order for your treatments to finally begin after two years.  This life is not conducive to being stress free. It is frustrating, upsetting, mind-blowing, heart breaking and most of all stressful.  It is something you should remember before you tell your loved one "relax, it will happen when you least expect it".


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