Mother's day melancholy

This weekend was a blur of activities in the DD household.  Saturday afternoon, Babe's little brother graduated from law school.  So our family celebrated the best way we know how, by eating, drinking and then eating some more. Everyone, including my nephew, was up until 1:30 partying in honor of his great accomplishment and stocking up since he'll be studying for the bar for the next 10 weeks straight.

Then there was Sunday.  We started off by meeting my mom and her husband for lunch at a Japanese teppan steak house.  I don't see her as often as I should and it was really great to this weekend.  I need to make more of an effort there for sure.  Afterwards we drove just up the street to visit my in-laws again and celebrate with them.  My husbands mom passed away three years ago so we try to at least spend some time with each other in her honor.  We ended up staying late eating, playing cards and watching Game of Thrones.  Side note, that was a great episode and I can't wait for next weeks.  

Sometime during the day I mentioned to Babe that it was harder for me this year than it was last year.  As I was saying it I felt so silly.  It didn't help that I was wished a happy mother's day multiple times by strangers even though I wasn't with any children.  How can someone hurt during mother's day when they were never a mother to begin with?  For a while I even sat on the bathroom floor unable to hold back the tears.  In 2012 I would have sworn that by mother's day 2013 I would already have a little one on the way.  Last month I even day dreamed about announcing a pregnancy to our families for mother's day 2014.  Instead I'm left wondering if that'll even happen before the next one rolls around.  How bitter will I be by then?  I never thought I'd say this but mother's day kind of sucks.  At least for anyone with that feeling of loss.  


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