Life without baby

Today I was speaking with a coworker about career goals and he basically asked me what I really want to be doing with my life.  I can tell you that since I've been married, every major financial decision has been made with the end goal of having kids.  It struck me that having kids may not be our reality.  What if we can't have our own?

Since I was 13 I've held over a dozen different positions.  I've always worked really hard, sometimes 2-3 jobs at once while going to school.  When we made the moves to our current job, the hope was for me to eventually stop working when we started having kids.  In our case, it's never been an option to be a stay at home wife, but a stay at home mom makes sense for us.  So what do I do for the rest of my life if I never become a mom?  I feel like my ambitions should have been bigger.  Now that we're in this situation I realize I should never have relied so heavily on being a parent.  I actually feel kind of pathetic now.

So what to do?  The position I hold now has it's ups and downs not unlike every other job.  Financially, the benefits and job security cannot be beat.  On the other hand I work in the public sector and because of that the compensation is lower than the industry standard and most of my coworkers are the typical government employees.  You know that lady at the DMV counter who can hardly be bothered to talk to more than a couple people an hour and spends the rest filing her nails.

Anyway, to get back on topic.  My dream career and what I went to school for, was wedding and event planning.  I'm good at it.  I work incredibly well under stress and love planning anything and everything.  I've done it for clients in the past but always got myself in a bit of trouble.  See I tend to want to help everyone.  The weddings that I have planned have either been done free for the experience or for very little money.  I did wedding planning for a couple years as a part time gig but quickly realized that it would never do if I wanted to have kids and spend time as a whole family.  Let's face it, almost nobody plans weddings during weekdays from 9-5.  So I moved on to the corporate world where life is less colorful and a little more reliable.

But maybe, just maybe, I can keep wedding planner in my back pocket in case life takes a little turn.


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