An infertility "coming out"

Hello my name is "Dominican Dreamer" and I am a lurker on the Nest's 3T board.  Okay now that we have that out of the way I can explain where this topic is coming from.  "Coming out" was a topic recently discussed on the board and it got me thinking.  In my experience coming out is a very personal subject and usually not taken lightly.  Everyone has different reasons why they have or haven't come out to family, friends and even publicly.

In our case we're "out" to only a handful of friends and family and mostly because of me.  My sister and I have been pretty close in the last couple of years and I wanted to pick her brain when we first started trying.  As time went on I shared with her my concerns that we hadn't conceived yet and then the doctor's visits.  She's been a great support and checks up on me every once in a while.  We also have a couple of friends who we know would really support us who we've casually mentioned our IF with.  One couple, J&C have a one year old son and were pretty adamant about us having kids together.  Since we've told them, C has constantly asked questions and shared in the emotions of just about everything.  Babe's brother and his wife know but don't really talk about it.  They're the people who told N "see, I told you all you had to do was relax".  

Babe and I are pretty private people.  That doesn't come easy in large Italian and Hispanic families. Because of this, it was important to me that the people who knew would keep our best interest in mind.  That meant someone who wasn't going to share our issues for gossips sake or make off-putting comments intentionally.  It was also important that the people we told weren't the ones who after knowing would still ask "so when are you guys going to have one?".  Unfortunately, that last bit means that my mom and Babe's dad are excluded.  To be fair since we haven't come out to everyone close to us, it means we also haven't come out publicly.  Hence the alias "Dominican Dreamer".  

I almost wish I was someone that could roll with the punches and not become emotionally invested.  Sadly I am more emotional than I care to admit which is why I've not become public with IF.  Maybe one day I will feel comfortable enough to put a face to it.  Today is not that day though.  

If anyone reading this has IF experience, have you "come out"?  If so, how did you and your significant other do it?


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