You Are Not Alone - NIAW Kickoff

Hello my name is Cynthia F. and my husband and I  are 1 in 8.

What I'm about to post comes after a lot of thought and plenty of nerves.  For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mom.  I've doted on our family and friends chubby cheeked infants for years hoping to garner practice for the time when E and I could have a baby or babies of our own.  Unfortunately for us life isn't always how we plan.  For the past few years we have struggled with infertility.  Something I personally have been afraid to say out loud for fear of sounding like a failure.  It has led to many doctors' appointments, tears and ultimately heartache each and every month.  For what seems so easy for others is not coming easily for  us and still our story is not over.

Infertility can be a cringe worthy topic to some, especially to be shared on social media.  We had hoped that given time, coming out about our infertility would be unnecessary because we would eventually fall pregnant.  Month after month we were proven wrong and the shame of it has kept more me than us quiet.  That is why I am writing this today. Infertility, be it primary, secondary, permanent, etc. should not be shameful.  It is a disease like many others, which robs 1 in 8 couples of realizing their dream of becoming parents.  It comes to the rich and poor, young and old, healthy and unhealthy alike.  It can be the result of one "issue", many "issues" and in numerous cases can be completely unexplained.  Regardless of the diagnosis behind it, each couple is plagued with difficult decisions, countless medical procedures, emotional ups and downs, and well intentioned stories and suggestions.

I write this to break the silence during this, National Infertility Awareness Week.  To provide a glimpse into our own struggle  with the hopes that it empowers others dealing with this terribly taboo topic.  To ask for your love and support in a way that allows you to see infertility in the real light as opposed to myths we see in movies and on television.  And to remind each and every one of you that although you may not struggle with infertility personally, 1 in 8 couples does and chances are you know one of them.  There are so many resources out there for you no matter how it affects you.

If you are also 1 in 8 my heart truly goes out to you. My best advice is to create a great support network for yourself. Unlike other diseases, support usually has to be sought out as opposed to coming to you. Visit Resolve.org, join a support group or prayer chain.  Believe me when I tell you, even though it hurts sometimes; it helps more than anything to tell your story.  You'd be surprised at the outpouring of support you will receive.  Also know that I am always here to talk whenever you may need it because you are definitely not alone. My prayers are always with you. And for your physical health do your research and find good medical professionals. Its amazing what they can offer you even if it's just peace of mind. For the rest of you, be the person that listens or that shoulder to cry on.   Educate yourselves for your loved one,  even the most well-meaning recommendations can wound someone dealing with infertility.  Resolve.org also has resources for you as do countless blogs like Keiko Zoll's, Our Misconception, and The Broken Brown Egg.  Your support can mean the world to them.

Lastly I want to personally thank each and every one of you who has been there for E and I during this trying time. Some of you knew the full extent of our struggle and has touched us in more ways than we could have asked.  We love you deeply and promise that although we may not share every gritty detail, you will be the first to know when our family is expanding in whichever fashion it happens. 

CF/Dominican Dreamer