Bad dreams

***WARNING- triggers mentioned***

Today is my monthly OB checkup.  It's also been a month since we saw our Bean on the ultrasound monitor during our very stressful anatomy scan visit.  But as time has passed, I've felt the anxiety of seeing my baby once more lessen.  That is until last nights nightmare that pales in comparison to any fear I've had this entire pregnancy.  It may have been triggered by watching a certain TV show last night or the fact that my office is wearing pink in solidarity to honor our coworkers daughter today.  Whatever caused it, I hope it never happens again.

Like many past bad dreams, I woke this morning trying to remind myself that it was just a dream.  That my Bean is alive and healthy, growing strong in my belly.  It took everything in me to fight back tears a couple of times already. Thankfully this little spitfire is proving to me just how lively he can be.  Again, welcome kicks, punches and head butts to my abdomen that I wouldn't trade for the world in this moment.  As much as I'm scared of the images my mind conjured last night, I'm very much in love with this little being inside of me.


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