We're pretty open out our IF struggles at this point, a far cry from just a year ago. So last night when E turned down an offer for a drink from my brother-in-law it got the conversation going on our upcoming IUI. For me it's been a bitter sweet topic of conversation. I love the fact that people are willing to ask us educated questions and genuinely try to understand IF as a whole. On the other hand, I'm completely terrified that people will be on the other side of our IUI waiting to hear the results. What I have started saying is that if it's positive, we'll definitely let you know. If it's not, we may need space to grieve and please just understand if we don't come out and tell you.
So this morning DH and I got to talking about it again and he explained why he doesn't mind telling people we're not successful. As someone who's dealt with IF for a while now, you're so used to hearing the success stories because that's what most people share. But if we're trying, let them see that. Then the next time someone shares their IF with them they may understand. Now let's take it a step further. What happens if we're not successful after thousands of dollars and years of treatments? Would that make them think twice before sharing the story of that friend who miraculously got knocked up as they were prepping for adoption, etc. Maybe, who knows. The point is, not every IF story has a happy ending and if we're going to open up that dialogue we might as well make it honest.
There are times when I feel like DH and I are so different in our IF thinking. But most of the time I'm happy and proud we are. We learn so much from and have so much more to offer each other.
0 comments: