I'm trying to wrap my head around how to respond to a comment recently made to me.  Or if I do at all.  My husband and I were thrown a co-ed baby shower by my sister, my sister-in-law and my mom.  It was amazing and I loved every minute of it.  There were a few little things that stood out that I'm having a hard time knowing what to do about them.

The first was when my mom thanked everyone for coming to celebrate.  It was a sweet thank you followed by a prayer at which time her and her husband never mentioned E or I.  They said they were grateful for their new grandbaby and that of my father-in-law as well but nothing about us as parents.  This has been a theme throughout our pregnancy and at times it's really bothered me.  My mom constantly calls the baby hers or theirs, celebrates with her husband whenever I share a milestone of our little Bean and now this.  Although the speech/prayer in and of itself isn't really that big of a deal I don't know how much more to express that the baby I've carried for 9 months is a product of E and I only.

So then after we had eaten and my mom and I were mid conversation when her husband leaned over to whisper in my ear "your mom really wants to be in the delivery room".  :::blank stare:::  Not only was it awkward that it was brought up right in front of her and by him but literally mid-sentence.  What do I do with that information without offending her/them?  My answer has and will always be a resounding "NO" for many reasons.  Do I even have to address it though since it wasn't a request made directly by my mom?  And if so how much do I tell her?  No, because it's a special moment I want to share with E only.  No, because we've never been close enough to share that type of relationship and I would feel incredibly uncomfortable.  No, because you don't seem to understand that this is not your child but that you are grandma.

I feel as though he put me in such a weird position to define ourselves to them and I'm really at a loss.  I genuinely don't want to hurt her feelings so I plan to keep quiet for now but it's starting to cause me a lot of concern that it may come up in the hospital or at an even more awkward time.  Oy vey.

There are a lot of pregnancy symptom lists out there, I know, I'm on Pinterest too.  What gets me is how very little these symptoms are discussed even though some are so common.  I spent the first 30 weeks of my pregnancy questioning if there really was a little human growing inside of me.  No, not because I think I'm small and haven't gained any weight but because all the classic symptoms you hear about were nowhere near my experience.  Morning sickness for example, okay maybe I gagged a time or two when I was brushing my teeth but never did I have all day nausea and constant vomiting like other women experience.  Back pain, well my tailbone hurt a lot but then again I've always had that problem, pregnant or not.

So why would I complain that I wasn't feeling anything remotely pregnancy related?  Well I would soon find out that was not the case.

Vaginal Swelling aka Cheeseburger Crotch

Before becoming pregnant I scoured the internet for pregnancy symptoms and ran across a few random blogs that mentioned vaginal swelling, but of course when it actually happened to me I was at a loss.  My lady-bits were hurting like crazy and it was making me feel like I was going crazy.  Maybe it was just a fluke.  Let me tell you, it's not, and you're not going crazy.  The urge to stick an ice pack down your pants while you sit spread eagle on the bed is not in your head.

Other bloggers call it cheeseburger crotch which conjures up so many disturbing images that it really should be renamed.  Thankfully cheese or anything of that nature has nothing to do with it.  It's really more in line with the idea of feet and ankle swelling you hear so many pregnant ladies suffer from, just a little higher north.  The doctor doesn't seem to have a solution other than putting my feet up and waiting it out.  Although anyone who suggests you sit on it to put your feet up hasn't experienced it for themselves.  My only option is to therefore do just what sounds the funniest in my head, actually lay on my bed spread eagle with an ice pack down my pants.  Hey it works.

Round Ligament Pain (RLP)

This by far is one of the most common symptoms that until becoming pregnant myself, I had never once heard of.  So your body is clearly preparing for a couple of things, one is carrying life, another is bringing that life into the world and lastly sustaining that little being you worked so hard to carry. Without exaggeration, from day one your body is making room for baby by stretching in places it's never had to stretch before.  Your abdomen is clearly one of those places.

For me I could pinpoint RLP within a week of finding out we were expecting.  I'd had a had cold and as usual coughed sending lightening like pains to my lower abdomen and scaring the crap out of me.  Surprisingly RLP is so rarely talked about considering how prevalent it is.  Of course it causes a lot of worry when you have no idea why you're experiencing so much pain.  So first time moms, don't be surprised when these little joys start showing up.  

Blurred Vision

I have been wearing glasses for reading since the age of 12.  Progressively my eyes have gotten worse over the years but nothing compares to the changes I've experienced since becoming pregnant.  It took me a while to get to that point in my pregnancy books but when I finally did it all made sense.  Making a baby creates a lot of new hormones as expected and one of the side affects of that is blurry vision.  Of course there could be some serious causes of blurred vision so it's best to check with your doctor, but if you're like me it's nothing to worry about and will correct itself over time.  In the meantime I'm left squinting at the jumbotron at hockey games and forget about finding the puck.

Loose Ligaments and Joints

Along the lines of RLP, the rest of your body is preparing for the delivery of your new addition.  You may be noticing a little joint swelling, maybe a sore pelvis like me or how much easier it is to injure yourself or twist your ankle.  Your body is making room both in your abdomen and your pelvis for pregnancy and delivery and all of your ligaments become more loose as a result.  Although it's not for everyone, I've found that doing prenatal yoga has helped stretch me out a bit and deal with the discomfort of pelvic pain.  The fun part is this doesn't end as soon as we have our babies and I'm totally looking forward to my recovery (said no mom ever).  

So now that you've read one more blog about strange pregnancy symptoms, maybe you'll feel a little more normal knowing that you're not alone.